C'est la vie

ben and caitlin

2005-08-03T06:53:00.000-05:00

It was so great to see you. Only 2 days but they were a great 2 days. I am so honored to have you as my brother, ben. I'm so proud of you. And Caitlin, I've never felt anything to be so right for my bro as you are. And I look up to you very much. Congrats on the new job and on the appartment. I can't wait to see it. Not long now. Only 5 1/2 months and I really like it here, so maybe I can wait that long. Twice now I've had to say goodbye at 6am- you guys and Eloise. In a way it's kinda easier. You're in a drowsy state, you don't really realise what's going on. There's a vague feeling of sadness and a strong presence of stress that they might miss the train. Then something happens. It all moves so quickly, a messy balance between wanting to say a proper goodbye and wanting them to make their train. You utter a 'goodbye' but you're not really sure if it was a goodbye. Then you stumble back into bed and pass out. But 4 hours later when you wake up, you feel a void and you realise what happened in the early hours of that morning. I love you two. I miss you guys. xoxo

back in action

2005-07-21T06:58:00.000-05:00

I have had a loud request from a certain Michaella to write something on this so called blog of mine. Well if you are listening my gorgeous, I will.

I am in London until saturday. Unlike every single other Australian I have never had any desire to live in london and I don't understand why. It is a thriving city, bursting with music, fashion, excitement, history, culture and generally just good ol fashioned life. I blame the weather. I'm really not a rain, grey skied person. It really does affect my moods. I have the same reservations about Melbourne. I would love to live there. Its less corporate and fast paced than Sydney but it just doesn't have that same sunny skied happiness, that takes away a little of the corporateness. Maybe after living through the coldest winter in awhile in Lyon, I will be okay with this climate problem. Anyway back to London. For the first time since Sonar I went clubbing last night. After a little break, it was great to get back into it and the music last night was perfect. Deep house and electro downstairs and some quality cheesy house upstairs for Susannah, which I'm ashamed to say I actually enjoyed! but I still have problems accepting how unreal it all is. I hate to think I've changed since meeting my boyfriend, but I think it's inevitable. It's a single world, the clubbing world. A guy might come up to you, you start talking and you think he's a nice guy and really friendly but as soon as you mention the b word, he's gone. Then you find yourself not saying it, almost pretending for one night, and it's almost as if you're being unfaithful to them. It's been 2 weeks since I've seen V and I find myself noticing other guys alot, especially one particular one last night. I guess it's natural but you cant help feeling that if you can be attracted to other people, maybe you're not so in-love as you thought. But then again, there's so much more to it than attraction. I guess I am just really new to this. It is so much easier to see someone in a nightclub, build a relationship with them based on attraction, kiss them and leave. It may be easier but you miss out on so much.

I've been travelling around Italy with my sister, her boyfriend and his brother and I've had such a great trip. I've been rebuilding my relationship with S, which last year suffered some damage which we didn't create ourselves but which we took on as ours. I feel so much closer to her now. I missed her alot before but in a different way. I missed her because I depended on her, I took alot of my personality from her, it was the first major thing I'd done without her. But now I have a whole new respect for her. We've both been through alot together and I'm constantly amazed by how vulnerable and how un-selfabsorbed she is, the very opposite of what I'd been influenced to think of her. She is everything I hope I am.

Italy is beautiful. After Paris (yes I gave the scary French capital a chance and it is a magical place after all) and Lyon (where we did a fat lot of nothing, except go to the zoo and Fourviere and hang out at my house) we went to Venice. Its like Disneyland. Its a dream world. We were walking around on the first day with our jaws open, ahhing about how pretty everything was. Its so weird. I look back on Venice and its almost as if it was a dream that I thought was real. We went to Murano and Burano, two islands near Venice where they make glass and lace. I preferred Burano, because it was less touristy and because the houses were all different colours which made it visually spectacular. Venice will forever mean to me- magic, murano glass, lace, opera, gelato and bellinis by the water, beautiful alleyways, bridges and streams, balconies with flowers, getting lost in side alleys, scary scary masks, history, beauty alongside decrepidation, interesting smells.

After Venice came Verona for one day then Florence. Verona is gorgeous. The third largest Roman arena, which now hosts concerts and operas. Coldplay was on the night we were there. Romeo and Juliet balcony- covered in the gum and graffiti of lovers. Better to remain a mystery. A little bit fabricated, the balcony was put in in 1935 and really is just a misrepresented tourist trap. But I am still a romantic, it hasn't ruined me. Verona itself is beautiful, with a huge park square next to the arena and sections of the wall still in tact, gorgeous piazzas and beautiful cobblestoned streets lined with old frescoed buildings. We got to Florence at midnight that night and crashed. The next day we slept in in our usual fashion. We rocked up to see the David only to be confronted by a line that resmbled the pilgramage to the holy land. We tried to make a reservation but they were booked out for the whole week. Only option was to get there at 7.30 and line up for an 8.15 opening. Good times. Next stop, the Gallery Uffigi. The line here seemed even longer. Some friendly australians towards the front told me they had been waiting 4 hours. Hhhhm. Only option was for the others to come here after David and line up, while I stayed and looked at the whole museum, not just the David. Then we went to the Palazza Pitti, an over-the-top Medici residence, where everything is covered in gold and the walls of paintings have no spaces- i loved it! It was the ultimate fantasy. After that, the Pallazo Vecchio, the town hall in the main Piazza and a bit of shopping, then dinner and sleep ready for our huge day of art galleries. The David is amazing, it is everything you've heard it is plus more. It really is so impressive. It was by far the stand out and the others left to line up after seeing it. I stayed to look at the rest of the Galleria del'Accadmia which was very small but one of the best museums I've ever been to. It was a mix of classic and modern art, mainly centered around the David. The huge religious paintings were all explained on panels, which gave details about the artist, the symbolism in the paintings and the new details revealed by restoration. The Uffizi was a 2 hour wait, which admittedly I did very little of and Andrew did most of! but it was worth it. It had a very impressive collection of Boticelli and Raphaelo, but my favourite was the Da Vinci 'Adoration of the Magi', with Mary and Jesus in the centre surrounded by worshippers and a sea of ghostly faces. It was very haunting. I also have a penchant for Carravageo, of which there were several. His works are so dark and depressing. He depicts death so directly and without fear that it becomes a natural and unavoidable thing, which it is really!

I will have to continue my adventures later... We are going to see what goodies the London shopping world can offer us for as little pounds as possible. Damn the Australian dollar and the pound's strength. It's so not fair!

After Venice

Goodbye Salamanca, hello Granada.

2005-06-14T03:50:00.000-05:00

So after a failed attempt at getting on a bus to Madrid on a sunday night I returned to the hostel, head hanging low, and asked for another night. M arrived shortly after. Her mind filled with the dancers of the night before, she seemed determined not to appreciate the smaller town, which she thought could never provide her with as much excitement as the larger towns she craved. She had recieved a message from Sydney, filled with names of distant clubs, evoking memories of the scene she's still trying to leave behind. At a tapas bar, with an older Australian (more fucking australians!), she made grandiose statements about how all cathedrals look the same, and how smaller towns are boring and talked alot about the scene back in Sydney. I couldn't help but think that she sounded like one of those Bang Gang girls who lives for friday nights. I had to force myself to stop thinking she sounded like a wanker. If it wasn't her, the girl I've admired and loved for a long time, I may have judged her wrongly. I know you'll be reading this and I want you too. I just don't want you to obsess over a scene that will not be obsessing over you. Let go and enjoy yourself. Cut your ties to the Sydeny scene for awhile and if you want to, reconnect when you get back.

Yesterday on the bus to Granada, I met a Canadian girl called Margery (along with Australians, they seem to be the main backpacker contingency). I was buying a can of lollies and she was intrigued so we started talking. I offered her a lolly and so started a beautiful thing. I guided her to the Oasis hostel and she guided me to the warmest Spanish people I've ever met. We met Pili, Heime and Ricardo in front of the cathedral. She´d never met them before, but Pili was her flatemate's flatemate when she lived in Granada for a year. I couldn't speak a word of Spanish but that didn't stop us. I was amazed by how genuinely excited they were to meet us and show us around. They took us up the hill to eat tapas (i tried snails! I thought I was meant to do that in France!) and to look at the spectacular alhambra, lit up at night. They made us close our eyes as they guided us towards the lookout. Ricardo held my hand as i tried to navigate along the cobble street with my eyes shut. Heime started making scary gestures at the Japanese tourists and the poor things all screamed. For the first time on this trip, I didn't feel like a tourist. Last night I was one of the locals, one of the it-crowd. We stopped at one bar with barrels outside and Heime disappeared inside and came out with a round of drinks and tapas for free. He said it was an old tradition that if weary traveller stops into a bar they give him a drink and some food, and some places still honour that tradition. We would never have thought or dared to go into a bar and ask for a free drink for us weary travellers. Although I guess as tourists they would have told us to fuck off or charged us double! Mind you double nothing is still nothing so hey!

After the drought..

2005-06-12T04:43:00.000-05:00

After meeting up with monica in madrid, fuelled by a cocktail of inspiration and guilt I have made decided to make a really strong effort to keep my blog updated. And of course to check her's! It obviously means alot to her that complete strangers check it and her own friends don't so now that I realise how important it is I will check it more often.
I am in Salamanca, the most beautiful place in the world. I feel like a character in a fairytale. I only have 1 day here, so I don´t want to waste too much time in this lovely internet cafe, which is also a bowling alley, billiard room and timezone style games room. Ah flashbacks of walking up George st after uni and seeing all those people jumping on those simulated breakdance machines. It´s funny how the most random and menial things can make you homesick. I used to dread that walk, because there were so many frustratingly slow people that I had to overtake in order to try and get the quarter past 8 bus after night lectures so I wouldn´t have to wait half an hour for the next one, but I always missed it. But now those things seem kinda appealing again.
I really love Lyon. I don´t want to leave. But I miss sydney and I miss everyone. I wish I could split myself into two- one could stay in lyon and start a new life there and the other could go back to sydney and finish her degree, get a job, and continue her old life. Then they could meet up when they´re 40 or 50 and swap notes. Or maybe the one in sydney could get a real job and support the one in lyon, constantly travelling and enjoying life.
Well I really only came onto the net to find a bus, but the sight´s down. I really hope I can get on a bus from madrid to granada! Ah the joys of travelling, never stressful, always good for the heart!
I will write more in Granada, that´s a promise.

loneliness

2005-04-22T11:11:00.000-05:00

last night at the train station I felt a bit lost. After eating some very suspect chicken satay, with each bite predicting the oncoming food poisoning and the 11 hour train ride on which to endure aforementioned illness, yet continuing to eat it as if I were Devon Sawa in that movie "Idle hands" where he can't stop his hands from killing people and he even tries to put it in the microwave, I still had an hour to burn. What to do?? What to do?? So i had an ice cream (no food poisoning thoughts here)-15 mins down. then I saw it...internet! 1 euro an hour! Amidst (literally one on each side) the men looking up porn i read my emails. 1. Mon-always there for me- love you and miss you like crazy. not long to go! Dave- big changes, scary but good times. at least now you can finally hook up with Steve as I know you have been longing to do for so long. Ah I wish I was there to give you a big hug and then rip open your stud button cowboy shirt, which although you try to deny it you really love! Hannah- always keeping me informed on the balmain gossip and sending me love. love you very very much. Benjy- FUCK I MISS YOU! Dad- so excited about seeing you! Caitlin- we're going to be on the same continent soon! we will make it to NY together one day! Mic-love you and miss you alot. so glad you are so happy, just wish I could be there and be happy with you. So my 45 mins was filled with love, and peripherally with porn. thanks guys! I love you all. you make me feel like dancing, gonna dance the night away.

love

2005-04-22T11:08:00.000-05:00

I said I love you to a boy for the first time in my life. And then I got on a train and went away for a week. Not good timing. I'm seeing him tonight. I can't wait. I really missed him and I'm so excited about what's to come. I love someone and he loves me back.

Berlin

2005-04-22T10:20:00.000-05:00

just got back from Berlin this morning. It is an amazing city. So interesting, full of life, historically and politically rich and so comfortable. I really felt like I could live there. The week started with a highly enjoyable 11 hour night train. My cabin was full and there was no way in hell that I was going to get any sleep in my seat so I decided to retreat to Nola's cabin where it was just her and some guy. I slept very nicely on the floor, using my coat as a blanket and my jumper as a foot wrap. then I was rudely stept on by two germans getting on in Belguim at about 2am. good times. I then slept under the chairs in a claustrophobically comfortable space, but I was constantly aware of the prospect of waking up suddenly and hitting my head and rendering myself unconscious. I then woke up in a pile of dribble at 7am, ready to get off in an hour. Amy was waiting for us at Spandau Station, "in the main hall near fruit". After surveying a supermarket, a juice stall and a cafe all of which had fruit we realised we were in a shopping centre and not the station at all. We finally found her in the actual station (fancy that), and she was indeed standing by fruit.
We did a hell of a lot that day: walking, TV tower, Topography of Terror exhibition that is on the site of the People's parliament and part of the Berlin Wall, walking, shopping, eating (my god the German servings are insane and so cheap!), more eating (German cakes are on par with French ones), the Berliner Dom, markets, Checkpoint Charlie... and that night we went to Tresor. Apparently the last night, but according to locals its just moving because the land is too valuable, it was amazing, insane, so crowded, so hot, DJ hell, only 10 euros, amazing. Amy and I got home at 8 so the next day consisted of dinner and drinks then bed. Dont you just love those 5 hour days! The museums in Berlin are great: Jewish museum with Nola (very interesting architecture. broken up into three sections with interactive artworks including a representation of the holocaust as sea of screaming metal faces that you walk on and it sounds like they're crying), Old National Gallery on my own (absolutely beautiful) and the Old Museum on my own (exhibition on ancient Greece and Rome- I thought of Olivia and Sani) and the Nat. Photography Gallery on my own too. They had an exhibition on Helmut Newton and his wife Alice Springs (June Newton), important both for Germany and Australia. they had all his props, diary entries and clothes and all the letters June recieved when he died (YSL, Vogue editors, Richard Gere, Prince Ranier, Jaques Chirac...) and videos of him working. Upstairs they had a dual exhibition of his and June's photos. they presented it as a photo by him then by her of the same subject often at completely different times, to show the differences in technique. really cool. meanwhile got the sporadic bursting into tears in museums! 1. looking at photos of Helmut's death. 2. the wishes written by german kids on the apple tree in the jewish museum. such clichés as world peace, health for all and no more wars really got to me. also, go the sporadic crying in museums when you're by yourself! good times.
I really loved Berlin. Such a great city. Such an interesting time to be there too. So much wealth in the west, and so much money going into the east. It will be really interesting to go there in 10 years and see how much has changed. Its so funny to see how the old exists with the new, but sometimes its just wiped away. Part of the old people's parliament is now the Sony Centre with a small panel of wall outside so people don't forget. Its a really fine line between dwelling on the past and being trapped by it, and forgetting it, destined to repeat it again.

Strangely, I really felt like I was coming home this morning when I saw the Credit Lyonnais tower. I felt really happy to be coming back to Lyon, even though it has its little downsides. On the train I sat next to an old fat businessman who gave me his business card and said he'd see me soon. Luckily he got a phone call so I ran away (very hard to do with huge backback, shoulder bag and two carry bags-ooh I bought jade green suede boots!) As i stepped out of the station, some sleazy old men said "hello pretty americain"-ah its good to be back!

ooh thats some sad non blogging times, right there.

2005-03-23T10:22:00.000-05:00

i am currently typing with one hand. no its not some sort of game or challenge that i have set myself, nor do i have copious time which i need to fill by doing things in the most time consuming way possible. thats right, you guessed it, Julia has regressed into her unco childhood and sprained her wrist yet again. that makes it wrist injury number 4 (falling off trampoline, falling off bike, tripping on rock whilst running on beach, now tripping on rd divider and falling into parking island and it was on the way to the pub not coming home i promise!!!) so Nola and I spent a fascinating 4 hrs in the emergency ward, where we watched a very exciting program on teenage binge drinking, ate lots of lollies and bounties and generally laughed at the entire situation, while a woman nearby continually "tsked" at the incompetency of the french medical system. its true, meanwhile. its even worse than in aus, if thats possible, which as demonstrated by france, it is. so now i have this hilarious contraption on my arm which i think is some sort of brace that the french are so proud of they put a french flag on it. Vincent says "ça fait trop peur" cos it makes me look like the terminator. but i only have to have it on for 5 days. thank god its not broken! must be all that cheese.

Amy came and visited me for the weekend. it was just so fantastic to see her. I showed her round, we went to the andy warhol exhibition (who in my opinion is one of the most overated, egotistical artists), went to the park which is just amazing and has a free zoo, went out to dinner...and of course went to hypnotix. what is hypnotix, you may ask. well let me tell you...
it was insane. there was fire, fireworks, streamers, huge balloons, crazy psychadelic flower and smiley faces and flourescent pig pinhadas, foam, so many trashed trashed people and three warehouse rooms of techno, trance and the main room. needless to say we stayed in the main and techno room. dave clarke, koalism, kiki were great and Alter Ego, oh my god!!! they were just amazing. if you ever get a chance to see them, please do. we went on a shuttle bus, which in itself was rather surreal, and it was stopped by the police to get checked for drugs. all the boys had to take off their shoes and shirts. it was pretty full-on. they asked me if I was a foreigner to which i replied, "yes im australian. i have a koala" and then showed him my koala key ring. I, meanwhile, was not on drugs.

speaking of australia, vincent tried vegemite this morning and he actually spat it out. this from the boy who ate worms and drank oil and coke as a dare. it must be bad! he also like blood sausage, so im not really too worried. i swear to god, these frenchies eat some weird shit. everything is really lovely with vincent. i really like him and he likes me right back, which is always nice. i dont want to say much more, cos i dont think its cool to talk about people too much on my blog-its a bit of an invasion of their privacy. that being said, Susannah likes girls.

well thanks for reading. i will write again alot more, i promise and i will send some photos very soon. love you all.

what does it mean?

2005-02-25T14:54:00.000-05:00

The other day, i was walking through Caluire and I saw a red sign on a traffic light. Interesting you may say, but let's not be too hasty, there is more to the story. The sign simply said 'Julia' and it had a French mobile number on it 0603661906. I stopped, shocked, and took a photo of it. What did it mean? Was I having an out of body steve martin experience? Should I call the number? Did this person have some kind of advice for me? What I should be doing with my life, whether I'll ever be in love, and of course they may even reveal the meaning of life. The possibilities were endless. The sign seemed to be calling me and it was my duty to answer its calls.
Filled with boundless hopes and anticipations, i went back to Helen's house and told her about the sign. She laughed and said, 'is it your real number?' A little confused, i simply said 'no'. Then I asked whether I should call it, and she laughed a little harder. 'Are you serious?' Ok now I was really confused. My naiive ears listened to her explanation, which quashed all previously held boundless hopes and expectations. Turns out my Godly sign was actually an ad for a prostitute called Julia. Guess that answers all my questions. Prostitute, no, sex.
Well mon, if you're going to work behind at the rouge 'til you're grey and old, maybe we'll be working very close by. Guess that's a plus.

yes i am still alive, don`t worry or don`t rejoice rather: Part 2

2005-02-21T05:22:00.000-05:00

Yes long time, no blog. I have just moved into my new appartment!!! Its the best appartment in good appartment town! I live with Nola from Oz, who is a really cool girl, and a really nice non sleazy! French guy is moving in next weekend. My room is at the front next to the kitchen and we are right on the rhone so i have an amazing view. We went to Ikea and bought futons for 130 euros (cheapest option-mattresses are really expensive!) and we had to assemble them ourselves. The landpeople stayed and helped me build mine. It took 2.5 hours with us, two men, a woman and power tools! So imagine my trepidation when we had to build Nolas sans two men, a woman and power tools!! But we managed to do it in 1 hour and it was so much fun! Hammering is my new stress relief.
We had the aussies over on friday and they are so jealous. Their 1 room student accom, with shared kitchen that's always full, shared bathrooms and showers, that are also always full and might also be full of tinea, really pales in comparison.
Then we went to the Down Under: tacky aussie pub number 2. I wish never to return. It was unprecedentally (word?) bad.
Then we had Sheena over for dinner cos she helped us at Carrefour (biggest scariest shop ever. I have the tendency to get overwhelmed by big stores and then get really tired and grumpy and then need lollies or cake to ease the grown upness of it all. Meanwhile, French people are so pushy. They just barge their way through crowds and dont say sorry or pardon rather cos they would be speaking French. They also dont know how to walk. Its a billion times worse than George St when Im running late for uni!) Then the Frenchies came over. It was just me, Nola, Sheena, Remy, Kristof, Romain, Jeremie and Alex who had called me to see what i was doing then I think was a little sad that the others had omitted to tell them their plans. They are the nicest bunch of guys. A really close group who are all really different but just seem to mesh well. It was quite funny though cos they brought their guitars and started singing Renaud and Hotel California. It was so cute! But looking back on it really quite amusing! Meanwhile noone else found the picture of Renaud amusing except me and Sheena. In fact I got the feeling that I had committed some kind of bizarre Renaud blasphemy.
yesterday we had a lovely day of yet again more drinking and lolly eating in Vieux Lyon (just me, Nola and Sheena) then we went to one of the less dodgy kebab shops for dinner. Meanwhile France has been the country for trying suspect meats- rabbit, liver, veal, miscellaneous susages and whatever the hell was in my kebab last night! Meanwhile part 2: have I told you about the lolly shops???? Theres one just near our appartment. Theyre everywhere! They are so good!! So many lollies!!! So many different types of marshmallows including ones covered in strawberry, peach, apple or banana dust, and ones with a huge layer or caramel and covered in chocolate. And the nougat... Anyway, ending on a very sweet note, no pun intended, I have to go now. Love you all. Stay safe and have fun! I will write again very soon, je promets!

i need a hug

2005-02-13T16:09:00.000-05:00

i really needed a hug today. it wasn't a bad day. i just would really like a hug, not one of those pitt st mall hugs though, a really big comfortable hug from someone i love.

this post will change your life

2005-02-12T12:32:00.000-05:00

I just realised that neither of today's 2 posts was particularly thought-provoking or insightful. So I've decided to ameliorate that situation with this post: Insert thought provoking, insightful comment here.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

2005-02-12T12:25:00.000-05:00

By the way, we had heard that the best cake shop in France is in the Croix-Rousse just next to Montessuy. So we went on a mission to find it, knowing only that the guy's last name starts with R and even with that little info we managed to find it in one of the little alleys. Although we probably shouldn't be too proud of our detective skills, seeing as "la meilleur de la france" was written all over it, but hey! Soooooooooooooooooooooooo gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!!! Are you jealous? You should be!

julia's little adventures

2005-02-12T11:55:00.000-05:00

Last night I went with Nola, Olivier and his friend Yong to a little pub in the city and i drank beer! from a pitcher! I figured I actually should probably get a liking for the cheapest drink worldwide but it actually doesnt make sense because wine is actually cheaper here anyway so what's the point really. ooh such philisophical questions for a sturday evening. Also after the beer I went to buy a kir, which is white wine and blackcurrent syrup and the guy served me then walked away and sat at the bar with his friends. So after standing there like a fool waving my money around, I just went and sat down too, half expecting to be chucked out for stealing a drink. Anyway, some of Olivier and Martin's friends came later on and they were really cool and interesting so we had a nice chat. Then when it was time to bouger, the group suddenly lost all capacity to think for themselves and decide where to go. I was going to DV1 to see Thomas Brinkmann, and I really didnt care where the rest went. Nola was really happy to go anywhere, as long as we stood out of the rain which we prodeeded to stand in for half an hour while they tried to make a decision. It was actually quite funny. Eventually one of the guys phoned Martin, who I'm convinced is their non-charismmatic cult leader, and he said he was going to DV1 so the decision was made.
When we got there, Olivier didnt like the music and was scared of all the gay guys but Nola and Remy were pretty happy. Martin came and then left straight away without saying hi to me aswell and his friend Alex, who is a really nice guy and a big techno fan, really liked the music, but he followed Martin, the cult leader.
Anyway so I stayed and it was great. The music was amazing and the club was just like an underground techno club in Berlin. I had such a great night. The people were pretty interesting to say the least but there were actually not too many sleazy men there, amazingly! Maybe they were all gay.
Yes in case you were wondering, it didnt work out with the brother. We had a really intimate talk and I was so excited to meet someone so deep, creative and emotionally charged. I dont want to go into the details, because its not fair to divulge private details about someone else's life but he's been through alot and its really changed him. Its a really sad story. Anyway, there will be opportunities to be brought back in in future but I'm going to resist them for my own wellbeing.
By the way, I really really wanted Mon and Aimster there last nite. Soon guys, soon. I cant wait! I was closing my eyes and pretending you were with me. But dont worry: I still had a great time, it will just be a million times better with you!

slave labour is good for you.

2005-02-07T04:36:00.000-05:00

i just noticed this lovely little tag on my one teaspoon jeans when i was washing them this morning:

This Hand made pair of One Teaspoon Classics was made by the happiest watermelon eating women and cool bike riding men in the world- China.

how`s that for a euphemism? yeah happy, because they get beaten if they don`t smile and watermelon-eating and bike-riding, because they can`t afford cars or more nutritious food.

yes i am still alive, don`t worry or don`t rejoice rather

2005-02-06T07:09:00.000-05:00

hi kids, its been awhile. i have had a cold for a couple of days so have had nothing exciting to report except our trips to the supermarket on both days being our only outings and let me tell you, they were exciting! nor have i had the energy to write about these exciting happenings. but fortunately for you, i fell alot better now so i can write and reconnect with my loved ones. awwwww.

so yesterday we secured our appartment for the 17th. its the best appartment since sliced bread! (hmm not really making sense in that context but hey! you know when i first heard that saying, i thought it was the best thing since light spread. i was a bit confused. but really, sliced bread`s not all that good either. i mean how lazy are people becoming if they think that an invention that saves them exerting a tiny bit of energy to cut bread is the height of the scale on which to compare superlatives.) anyway, so this appartment is pretty damn good.

but i really feel at home in helen and olivier`s appartment. helen has become like a mum to us and olivier is our really lovely little bro. i have developed a slight crush on the older brother who doesnt live here, who happens to be the best looking thing since sliced bread (ok i admit it i find sliced bread good looking) and hes very sweet and likes the same sort of music as me. the only problem is he really doesnt speak english. we are going out tomorrow so it will be very interesting. and helen has no idea so its really rather strange.

i miss sydney and all my friends so much. we have met some really great people here but none of them compare to you. luckily i will be seeing one of my best friends very soon and the other a little bit later but also very soon!

Lyon is really beautiful. im so glad i chose it. its historical, its interesting, its breathtaking, its friendly, its not to big, not to small- just right really. Cant wait to share it with you (in order of appearance)-aimster, dad, mon, mum/ben/sani.. and its amazing how much everyone loves us here. people think we`re so cute with our funny accents and they are so excited when we say we`re aussie (re: aforementioned preoccupation with oz and cheesy aussie pubs. i have been asked many times if all the pubs are like that to which i respond depending on my mood either no way or yes, we are also obsessed with cliched tacky aussie paraphenalia. Jamie likes to introduce himself to people as michel and then says his last name is patisserie. it is losing its humour very fast.)

well i come from the land down under...

2005-01-28T04:08:00.000-05:00

Happy Australia Day everyone! Last year i was so ashamed to be australian, because of our unconditional support of the US in the "war on terror" and because of the tampa incident and the high court decision that its ok to indefinitately detain people or make that "refugees" cos they`re not really people afterall. By the way it was recently decided in the UK that the law saying that suspected terrorists can be charged for no founded reason was blocked, so hopefully we`re not too screwed.

Anyway back to me, i never thought i would be a loser ex-pat going to celebrate in one of the aussie themed pubs here (thats right. there is more than 1, in fact theres 3. Dont ask. no idea.) It was absolutely hilarious. It was decorated with boomerangs, watch out for kangaroo signs and really bad dot painting all over the toilets. Playing such classics as men at work, Jimmy Barnes, inxs, powderfinger and a whole lot of grinspoon and living end (the aussie behind the bar hadnt been back to Oz for 2 years so he thought they were still huge. I told him quietly that he should go back sometime.) the funniest thing about the place was that we were 5 of only about 15 aussies. The other 100 people were french. And they love it!

I must admit we had fun. French boys are kind of annoying though. They just keep tapping you on the shoulder and up until the 20th time someone tapped (im a bit slow) i just had this glimmer of hope that it was someone i knew, like one of you guys just surprising me in Lyon, just coming over to say hi. But no, it was just one of the very persistant annoying tapping guys. You know how i dont like to just ignore guys who come up to me in syd cos it takes alot of courage, but i can tell that im going to turn into a cold hearted bitch here! Of course if they`re cute, well thats a whole different story...

my first night out in lyon...

2005-01-21T20:26:00.000-05:00

...was a bit of a fizzer. It started out at David`s house, where we are staying, with his friends and we had a few drinks before going to this terrible club called fish. The music was so bad, i felt so disheartened. it was really cheesy and old and terrible and i dont mean the french meaning of terrible which is actually positive! When drop the pressure came on noone had even heard of it before! If i have to relive the poplarising (making words up is fun) of that song again i will kill someone, possibly milo himself because im not very far from him and i am ready to kill. Anyway i put on monica`s cd before we left and it made me a bit homesick and it made me miss bang gang too. God thats sad! Eloise is coming tomoz but i really want to see jeff mills to reinstall my faith in good music.
Oh mon your cd is so nice. I wish i could have you and all the memories and good connotations revitalise right in front of me in lyon. That would be nice.
by the way to the very small audience that i have your replies are a few of my favourite things so please keep replying and pass it onto anyone who would appreciate.

This is insane!

2005-01-20T13:20:00.000-05:00

Well im here and im queer! Well not really. But i am here. And i am slightly crazy. Anyway enough ranting. I arrived in Lyon after a grand total of 30 hours travelling. My bum is really sore. You know when you finish exams and you sit on the couch for 3 days straight? Its like that but even sorer cos the plane seats are no couches, no siree bob. Meanwhile I have been here for two days already and i have heaps of exciting stuff to write but all i can crap on about is my aching body.
Lyon is just beautiful. I can already tell i am going to love it here. The people are really nice. Not too snotty at all except for the woman in the real estate agent who said they had nothing for us because we only wanted to pay about 700 euros per month. It was so pretty woman. I felt like a cheap prostitute with lots of money and no clothes to buy. But wait wasnt the problem that i had no noney in the first place? Meanwhile french keyboards suck ass!
Yesterday we went into the city to start looking for a place to live and we visited them today and we`ll visit some more tomoz. For someone who`s never lived out of home before its so exciting! The bread and cheese and wine here is so good and the brioches and cakes are to die for! Some of the other stuff is very questionable. Where we had lunch today a man was eating a huge rabbit sausage and his wife was eating raw hamburger mince. And apparently apart from pate the specialty is something foul cooked in a pig`s bladder. Yummy! I stuck with a trusty baguette nicois. I can tell that baguettes will be my friend this year. They are so big and cheap and yummy and non-gross like all the other savoury food the french eat. We went into the uni too. Oh my god! it is the most beautiful old uni. It really really puts uts to shame. The weird thing is its right next to chinatown too. Its just like being at home really except everyone`s speaking another language and its freezing and i have no friends. I really miss you guys but reading your emails makes me laugh and feel all warm inside. Awwwwwwwww. I hope all is good in Sydney. Awwwwwwwww.

singapore has lots of big fish

2005-01-17T09:34:00.000-05:00

Well I've arrived in Singapore, after 7 hours of flying. Only another 12 hours then another 2 hour stopover in Frankfurt then another three hour flight to Paris then a 3 hour train trip to Lyon. Jealous? Probably not anymore. Just wait til I start doing really cool shit and then you will be.
Thanks so much to a certain great person who came all the way to the airport on the train with a hangover to give me a really thoughtful present and letter. And yes it did make me cry! But good tears. The kind that make you realise how lucky you are. I will listen to that cd, read that letter, look at those photos and probably cry some more. But good tears! The 4 months will be over before you can say "David is so hot right now, citag!"
Well I better sign off because it's free internet and I'm being a big fat hog. Will write very soon.
Oh yeah sorry the title had nothing to do with the contents. But yes, Singapore does have big fish, and orchids, and free internet!
My legs are sore. I hope I don't get that deep-vein thrombosis thing.

thanks everyone

2005-01-16T04:33:00.000-05:00

I had a farewell picnic today (for someone who never really has picnics I've been having a hell of alot of them recently!). I just wanted to thank everyone for coming. I had such a great day. Thanks so much to everyone for coming, especially those who came straight from a big sat night (Mic, Mon, Gorka, Saskia, Ben, Laura, Jem.. Ah such trashbag friends) and those who came all the way to Glebe before work (Laura, Jaqui, Dave, Zo). It meant so much to me to have all you gorgeous smiling faces there trying to make me laugh not cry and tell me I'm going to have the best year of my life and promising not to go out without me ie be housebound for the next year. I really do love you all. What a great send off. Thanks guys. I'm going to miss you all so much! (an exclamiation mark just doesn't begin to show how much emphasis I put on that).
Oh and I got really sunburnt. And mum just rubbed tomato all over me. Very strange. Now I definitely have to go and have a shower.
And I haven't even packed! And I'm about to go out. Still more goodbyes.. God I am always so last minute but also ridiculously calm. Wouldn't it be funny if I missed the plane...

too many byes

2004-12-29T20:43:00.000-05:00

I wasn't prepared for this so soon. I'm not leaving for another 2 weeks, but everyone else is going on holidays which crossover with my departure date and so I've had all these premature goodbyes to deal with. The first was Hannah, who I've grown up with since preschool and who lives just up the road. She's off to America for a holiday and she left on boxing day. Lots of tears and I love yous were exchanged and I walked home, still in tears, continued by more tears at home. The next was Caitlin, my best friend from school, who is studying in NY for 6 months. She's amazing. I'm so proud to be her best friend. Surprisingly there were no tears here, mainly because we both know that we will see each other very soon when she visits me and I visit her. She was also really sick and our farewell was at the Darlinghurst medical centre!

And then there was today. My sister. She is going to Thailand for a month with her boyfriend. I really hope they are safe. I will miss her so much, I can't even begin to describe. We have been through everything together. She is such a huge defining part of me, and of my identity. This really is the first thing that I will ever be doing without her. And I'm really scared. We went out for dinner last night and she kept saying how much she will miss me, but it really didn't hit me until I saw her packing this morning and then hugging me goodbye. I didn't want to let go. I cried alot. I'm still crying.

What's wrong with me? It's only a year and it's going to be the best year of my life. It's not that hard! Rationality gets lost when emotions are involved.

merry xmas by the way!

2004-12-28T05:03:00.000-05:00

Well I finally broke my drought of posts. Seeing as I have only given my site to 3 people, I kinda lost the motivation. But now that the lovely Dave with the stud button shirt has left me a comment, I feel reborn and ready to write about crap some more.
Happy Xmas everyone. That is if you celebrate Xmas. If you don't, a very unhappy Xmas to you. I had a really nice day with my family. It was fight free! Amazing. But it wasn't tear free. Oh no, I took care of that. I felt a little emo, because I am leaving in 3 weeks and the day left me with unrealistic romantic notions of the family togetherness I am leaving behind. Also 8 femmes, which we were watching at the time, is actually a deeply depressing and existential film and could invoke tears from the best of us.
But all normality was restored the next day, when we had some very trivial fights. It was so pretty.

Last sunday my family threw me a surprise 21st picnic. It was a really incredible day. They didn't believe me when I told them I was genuinely surprised. Of course I was surprised- who expects a surprise birthday party 4 months before their actual birthday?! Someone really suspicious, that's who. Thanks so much to everyone who came. I am so lucky to have such amazing friends and family. They really care about me and I would be nothing without them. When I think about how I met them all, I really start to believe in fate or something along those lines that brings people together. Then I start to wonder about soulmates and situations. If I was brought up somewhere else, would I have similar friends? Or would I be a completely different person? How much of our personalities is genetic and how much is gained through our experiences and situations? Anyway, I have really great friends!

snorting, it's pretty funny

2004-12-28T04:58:00.000-05:00

On Oxford St today a pigeon flew at me. I screeched. People turned. I laughed. I snorted. I stopped in fit of hysterics at snort. Just thought I might share that. Guess you had to be there.

I wanted to kill so many people today

2004-12-28T04:33:00.000-05:00

Probably not the most appropriate title, given the tragic loss of life of 24,000 and maybe even more innocent people in the earthquake and tsunami that just hit Indoneisia, Sri Lanka and Thailand, but hey. I really need to vent. I ventured into the city today to have lunch with my buddy mic. Originally we were going to meet at Crown St but nothing was open and so we made that fateful decision to brave the city. Even though at 8am on monday morning when walking home from Late Night Shuffle I saw a huge group of people already lining up for the post Xmas sales, I had no idea of the kind of mass crowds of consuming vultures we were in stall for. I have never seen so many people. And for someone like me, who is always late and it a hurry, it was most frustrating. I actually found myself screaming at people "why are there so many people?", "what are you all doing here?" and the occasional "fuck!" Mind you guess I can't complain, 'cause I was there as well, congesting the city even more!
And to everyone that I yelled at today, I am very sorry. Hope you picked up some lovely bargains.

exclamtion marks

2004-12-07T04:46:00.000-05:00

! That's right:! I'm really perplexed by these little things. They cause a problem for me both when I write on here and when I write sms messages. If I'm in a particularly enthusiastic mood, I may use one on the end of every sentence. But it just seems insincere or overthetop or even really sad. How do I convey my enthusiasm without these aforementioned assumptions about my tone? It's just too hard damn it!!! See now they're multiplying!!!! What does that say? I have a twitch in my index finger, causing me to push the ! key several times. You know that's a mild form of Tourettes? Anyway, if anyone can think of any alternatives let me know! (now that one was unnecessary really)

The Rouge

2004-12-07T04:00:00.000-05:00

God I love my job! Sure I have to dress up in a really embarrassing outfit (no comment) but I get to listen to great music, meet interesting people (and some not so interesting, well let's face it annoying people) and talk to my friends all night. I don't have to do much at all really. I love everyone I work with- one of my best friends who is constantly entertaining and a great cute boy radar, 2 really cool bargirls, a psycho yet strangely endearing bartender, a gentle giant bartender who lovingly puts your water into a cocktail glass with both lemon and lime on the side, one bartender that I can't really read but is quite nice and 3 champion glassies, who I sometimes pretend to help by picking up a few glasses on my pissweak little tray. Not to mention that i have the coordination of a drunk blind man, but someone always knocks me I swear! I felt instantly comfortable with the gang.

Anyway, last friday was the best night of my short "career" at the rouge. After working really hard for 3 hours (it didn't open til 10:30 and my first drink order wasn't til 11) Captain Comatose started and I hit the dance floor, where I continued to work really hard (I think I picked up a glass, oh and I took an order too!). Oh my God they are amazing- they are just pure entertainment. And Damien Lazarus...I'd never gotten a chance to hear him play but, double oh my God (*said in Wog voice for extra emphasis*). I had to stop work at 3:30 because I just really couldn't do anything but dance. I was time to stop pretending that I was working. It was so good. And the bang gang boys were really picking up their game too. They played some new stuff- amazing!
I talked to Damien (we're not really on a first name basis but it feels weird to keep referring to him as Damien Lazarus because he sounds like some kind of superhero, although I do have a friend that I call Jo Howe but she is a superhero so it's ok) after and he said that bang gang is one of the best parties he knows and if he didn't have a life in England he'd love to relocate here just to join the team. It makes me really worried for music adventures next year. Is this all there is? Well I might as well not go anywhere! 'Cause you know, that's the only reason I'm going and all. Forget uni, travelling, experiencing new cultures, sights, sounds, learning French and meeting new people! It's all about being stuck in a smoky club with trashy people til the next morning then sleeping all through the day until the next night. Oh my god I think I've just turned myself off clubbing. Well maybe that's just England. I have really high hopes for Berlin. And you never know- there might be a great club in Lyon. Then again maybe not.
Part of the reason bang gang works is 'cause of the Rouge. It's so small and sexy- it's got character and everyone is there to have a good time and they don't care who's looking. In fact the more people looking the better. I love that little dingy place. Damien's set on saturday, even though similar to but not as long as friday's, was just not as good. The huge room lacked the same atmosphere as the Rouge. Good thing though- my face was sore from smiling so much on friday!

school reunion

2004-12-05T22:50:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I went to a primary school reunion, which Hannah, Bec and I had organised and which I completely forgot about until very early on sunday morning whilst listening to some beautiful techno, care of Kennie Larkin, which I didn't want to leave in a hurry. Anyway, so after a luxurious 4 hours sleep I got up, made a tuna salad, went to the shops to buy some more picnic food, brought a bottle of wine and a wine opener(can't believe I remembered that!) and made my way over to Elkington Park. I managed to arrive there right on time, which is really really really rare for me as all my friends know (and love of course! No actually I have serious issues with my tardiness. I feel awful when I'm late and it really stresses me out but I just can't help it. I always seem to overestimate the time I have and start to do other stuff then I realise I'm really late. Either that or the bus breaks down. Ok so it's usually the former, but hey.) Meanwhile back at the picnic, we start eating and drinking and convince ourselves that noone else is coming, and set ourselves a mission to eat all the food and drink the 4 bottles of wine we had between the 3 of us- easy! But much to our shock and elation, people actually came. There were about 20 of us and it was great. I couldn't help noticing how grown up and lovely everyone was. It was really cool.

I had three main realisations since this reunion:

1. I have completely changed since primary school. It's both a physical and mental change, and it's really scary. It's at the point where I don't even remember what I was like. I looked at photos of myself in year 6 and I feel so disconnected from that girl. I was ridiculously shy and introverted, which has been really hard to break away from, and I never really had many friends- only a few close ones which I've stayed friends with now. And it wasn't always that way. It only began when my parents separated when I was in year 2. I used to be really feisty and extraverted but I became a little bit of a recluse and kind of shyed away from life. I developed a huge trust issue, which as I grow older and stronger is disappearing but I think it will always be there, and I avoided conflicts at any cost, even if it meant that it eroded me from the inside. I feel like going into those photos and giving little Jiggy a huge hug and telling her it will be ok. God my parents fucked me up- they've got no idea. But they're just grown up versions of me so it's hard to blame them- but note to all of you out there- a 12 year separation and divorce procedure is not good for the kiddies!

2. Kids can be cruel. When I was in year 6, a girl decided to make up a game called "don't touch Julia" (Ok for all of you thinking I really need to go see a pshychiatrist about these childhood issues, I'll make an appointment today.) Luckily noone else, except her 2 best friends wanted to play said game, but her attempts to start it have left me scarred. So completely ready to confront this girl, I began a conversation with her only to discover that she's been through some really hard times with depression, anorexia and family troubles and that she's actually a really sensitive and gentle person. Damn I felt jipped! How could I tell her what a heinous bitch she was to me in primary school when she might break right in front of me?! This grudge turned to sympathy and warmth. So I guess I'll just have to let that grudge die.

3. We are a really cool bunch of people. I'm so impressed by how much everyone has grown and how different we are, but that we all get along. I would definately like to hang out with them again and I won't ignore them when I see them in Woolworths anymore!

Ok so yeah, I managed to turn a fun times picnic into a phsychological self-exploration, but I really did have a great day.

the good life

2004-12-03T02:00:00.000-05:00

I'm on holidays at the moment so I've had alot of time to do all the stuff I love, namely listening and dancing to great music, playing with my friends and wandering around the city, just soaking it in before I leave it..but only for a little while (well 1/80 of my life if I live til 80 that is. It may not sound like alot but it is!) Anyway, recently I've been very lucky to see some great gigs. The very day I finished my last exam (3 hrs of equity and trusts=hell) I went with mon to Pretty Girls Make Graves and Les Savy Fav, which was a great show. I really like PGMG because I like their music better but LSF did put on a hell of a show. It included fat ugly nudity (the most entertaining sort really), danger (climbing on the railings of the mezzanine of the gaellic club) and good ol' fashioned physical entertainment. It reminded me of when I saw Har Mar Superstar at Candy's last year.

Having not heard anything about Har Mar, I was taken there on a date. And what a funny date it turned out to be! Beats my zoo first date idea (which was a great date btw! so anytime you're stuck for ideas..)NB: a really unattractive man getting naked is a great ice-breaker, and it makes you look alot more attractive to your date. Same goes for the animals at the zoo. I really liked Har Mar and he's actually a really talented guy. I guess it's hard to succeed in that industry if you're not really good-looking so he just had to add a little extra: self-deprecation. Meanwhile I heard his new song at bang gang a few weeks ago and it sounded great. If anyone knows what happened to his support, the all girl skipping hip hop group please let me know 'cause they were awesome.

I've started working at Moulin Rouge on friday and saturday nights so I got to see Mylo there last week. I love his Cd. It took me on a really nice relaxing journey. It is really complete and beautifully produced. It was so cool to see the whole room going crazy for him. But all I could think was "poor guy, wonder if he knows what he's gotten himself into". He's also very beautiful. He'll go far. Anyway I also got to hear exactly the same set at Parklife the next day (aren't I lucky!) but this time I got to hear it with the left speaker set blown (even luckier!)

The music at Parklife was very disappointing, but really who's there for the music? You know it will be mediocre and quite cheesy, but all your friends are there, you have some really good (and I mean really good) fuel and you dance like idiots wearing ridiculous sunglasses. Well that's what we did anyway. Mad Racket afterwards was incredible. It always is. Captain Comatose were awesome. It was the ultimate blend of electro and house with the energy and craziness of a live set. And I'm so excited to hear that they'll be at the rouge tonite. Hmmm looks like I'll be working hard tonite. Late night shuffle finished off my great weekend. Unfortunately it has to move from the rouge. One last one for the year at the gaelic club and then onto a new unknown home. Anyway I can't really see it anywhere else but the rouge, but I'm sure once it moves and settles into a new home I will get used to it and maybe forget it was ever at the rouge. I wonder how much stuff will change while I'm away. It really scares me how quickly we forget.

And back to reality. Tonite at the rouge: Captain Comatose and Damien Lazarus. Yes!

new beginnings

2004-12-03T00:56:00.000-05:00

So I've started a blog. Why? For many reasons. I don't profess to be someone who knows everything. Or anything for that matter, but I guess I just want to be able to share my ideas and experiences with someone. In 6 weeks, I'll be on the other side of the world. I'm going to study and live in Lyon for all of 2005. I have really mixed feelings about this. Of course I'm really excited, but also ridiculously nervous, scared, daunted, oh and here comes ecstatic. I'm like a schizophrenic emotional mess. And each day it's a new feeling...
Anyway, I thought I'd start a blog mainly to communicate with my friends and family. That is if they check it! I know my brother will, because he and his computer are physically attached. Mon definitely will, but seeing as she'll be in Europe soon too, maybe she won't have to. And I'm sure that my stories will be so exciting that all my other friends will be glued to their screens too! And hey maybe I'll even make some more friends when I'm over there...

Recently I've really noticed how quickly I'm growing (not physically- I'm already tall enough) and changing. I used to be really scared of life. Not when I was a child of course, I don't think you're scared of anything when you're little (except maybe teachers). No I'm talking about that really awkward period called adolescence, when you don't really seem to fit yourself and everything seems so god-damn serious! I don't know whether it was my school (*insert Sydney private girls school here*) or my childhood obesity (yes it's true) or if it happens to everyone, but I just felt socially retarded, or should I say challenged to be more PC? I would never look at boys, let alone talk to them and I never attempted to be part of the "cool" group. Even after I lost weight and looked like I could fit in, I didn't feel like I did. I still don't feel like I fit in. But the difference between now and then is I'm totally cool with that. And so is everyone else. I think that something changes between adolescence and "adulthood" (not really adulthood, more like pre-aduldhood) where you stop wanting to fit in and you start wanting to stand out. Or maybe you just become more comfortable with yourself. You have to be. For the rest of your life there's 1 constant and that's you. Failing that, there's always coke to make you the exciting fun-loving person with heaps of friends (especially if you give them free coke) you always wanted to be!
Anyway life's too short to worry. Ok well now I'm excited about next year, but how long will that last?